funny status messages



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Brasstoff
I heard that if I stood on Mars I would weigh 20% less. I now know this to be false! Does anyone want to buy 48 flattened chocolate bars?  147 Dislike
sKoop
I've just been informed by a porn site that "8 hot nymphos in my area are dying to meet me." Yes, I'm understandably stoked!  7 Dislike
sKoop
Everyone deserves one or two free kills in life.  7 Dislike
sKoop
Wow! You wear a NORTHFACE Jacket ? You must go on sooo many adventures......  7 Dislike
sKoop
Most guys' dicks are like a Nintendo cartridge; If it's not working, pull it out, blow on it and it should work when you put it back in.  7 Dislike
ritzblitz
Pizza is like sex, when it is good it's VERY GOOD, when it's bad...it's still pretty good.  7 Dislike
Thomas
.."On a scale of 1-100 how immature are you?" "69" (",)  7 Dislike
Somebody
I stay up late every night, and realise its a bad idea every morning.  7 Dislike
@YGESH
Rajnikant once donated a drop of blood to a very weak child... The child is known as "The Great Khali".  7 Dislike
@YGESH
Before Tom Cruise, Rajnikanth was approached for Mission Impossible which he refused as he found the title insulting.  7 Dislike
 


Last post by Rex on 15/10/2018 06:05:10 PM GMT
  • Rex I'm going to invent a new pill called Niagra that stops erections. Slogan will be: "Viagra Rises, Niagra Falls!"
    Posted by Rex  14/10/2018 02:55 PM  1 Like
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  • Rex If you superglue a dead wasp to the back of your hand you can slap your boss on the back of the head real hard & pretend you saved him
    Posted by Rex  28/08/2018 02:56 PM  3 Like
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  • Rex Why does my wife always wait till im at the opposite end of the house before asking me to mrmv vmbf vamnumjuh?
    Posted by Rex  19/08/2018 10:31 PM  5 Like
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  • sirdawko Liven up boring long haul flights by pressing the stewardess call button & then when she comes 2 your seat just say "NO I CAN'T FLY A PLANE"
    Posted by sirdawko  12/09/2017 07:50 AM  6 Like
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  • gussyg My dog's ratio of digging holes in my yard to finding buried treasure is not where I'd like it to be.
    Posted by gussyg  04/08/2017 08:13 PM  6 Like
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  • keetojb A tattoo doesn’t tell you very much about a person, but where they put the tattoo does
    Posted by keetojb  17/03/2017 04:13 PM  6 Like
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  • jumbojim Based on the sound of her walking.. My upstairs neighbor seems like the kind of woman that starts sentences with; "Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum.".
    Posted by jumbojim  22/02/2017 02:06 PM  6 Like
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  • jumbojim Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07
    Posted by jumbojim  10/02/2017 06:19 PM  6 Like
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  • Shafique.K@BawloEscobar Marriage is something when a man and a woman become one...problem starts when they try to decide which one.
    Posted by Shafique.K@BawloEscobar  29/01/2017 09:45 AM  6 Like
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