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gussyg
I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don't really understand kites or insults.  34 Dislike
jumbojim
Based on the sound of her walking.. My upstairs neighbor seems like the kind of woman that starts sentences with; "Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum.".  33 Dislike
keetojb
The doctor recommended I increase the amount of Greens in my diet...so I started drinking more Rolling Rock  32 Dislike
keetojb
I'm still exhausted from my 2-mile jog. And I went on it four months ago.  32 Dislike
keetojb
Nothing is impossible.. Never Give Up.. I know a guy that once actually guessed correctly why his girlfriend was mad at him  31 Dislike
gussyg
My toddler gets pretty impatient with me for someone who takes 45 minutes to eat an egg.  31 Dislike
jumbojim
Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07  31 Dislike
gussyg
This beer hasn't killed me so it must be making me stronger.  31 Dislike
gussyg
Remember kids, NEVER light fireworks. Let the adults, who have been drinking all day, light them instead!  30 Dislike
keetojb
Found out today you cannot join a gym "just to watch".  30 Dislike
 


Last post by jumbojim on 10/07/2017 11:42:43 PM GMT
  • keetojb A tattoo doesn’t tell you very much about a person, but where they put the tattoo does
    Posted by keetojb  17/03/2017 04:13 PM  23 Like
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  • jumbojim Based on the sound of her walking.. My upstairs neighbor seems like the kind of woman that starts sentences with; "Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum.".
    Posted by jumbojim  22/02/2017 02:06 PM  33 Like
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  • jumbojim Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07
    Posted by jumbojim  10/02/2017 06:19 PM  31 Like
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  • Shafique.K@BawloEscobar Marriage is something when a man and a woman become one...problem starts when they try to decide which one.
    Posted by Shafique.K@BawloEscobar  29/01/2017 09:45 AM  7 Like
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  • gussyg I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don't really understand kites or insults.
    Posted by gussyg  13/01/2017 01:38 PM  34 Like
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  • sirdawko I don't want to think I'm getting old or anything,but all the noises I used to make during sex, I now make getting out of bed.
    Posted by sirdawko  02/01/2017 12:07 PM  6 Like
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  • The Grumpy Git Money doesn't buy you happiness, but crying in a Ferrari is better than crying on a bus.
    Posted by The Grumpy Git  30/01/2016 11:30 AM  9 Like
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  • keetojb I told my 2-year-old she couldn't open any candy yet. She ate a Tootsie Roll with the wrapper still on it. That kid is a problem solver.
    Posted by keetojb  03/11/2015 08:27 PM  8 Like
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  • guest I once dated an insomniac but it didn't last long, I could never get her to sleep with me
    Posted by guest  24/10/2015 02:26 PM  6 Like
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  • Grumpy Git How to get rid of a corpse: post it to yourself through Parcelforce. You'll never see the f*cker again.
    Posted by Grumpy Git  15/09/2015 02:54 PM  4 Like
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  • Grumpy Git These so called scientists proclaiming graphene is the thinnest black material ever developed have clearly never bought Lidl value bin bags.
    Posted by Grumpy Git  26/08/2015 10:13 AM  2 Like
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  • sirdawko What's the difference between "hippo" & a "zippo "?....One is really heavy,the other is a little lighter.
    Posted by sirdawko  25/08/2015 06:40 PM  9 Like
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  • funny I think my wife has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover.
    Posted by funny  11/08/2015 05:53 AM  4 Like
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