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Top Ten
Brasstoff
I heard that if I stood on Mars I would weigh 20% less. I now know this to be false! Does anyone want to buy 48 flattened chocolate bars?
148
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Kwesta
For the conceited people: if i ever decide to commit suicide, all i would do is jump from YOUR EGO TO YOUR IQ-LEVEL :D
7
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@TsirAhXuan
DURING THE SUMMER: Everyday I'm shufflin' DURING THE WINTER: Everyday I'm shovelin'
7
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unknown
i am a lion hear me ROAR.....meow.
7
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sirdawko
last night I saw a guy in a Man Utd shirt drowning in a frozen canal so I saved him...as the screensaver on my phone.
7
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@bigwmo77
Isnt it funny how you can be thinking about someone and they suddenly appear infront of you, My dad just caught me w*nking
7
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@romeofthesouth
commented on your photo
7
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Somebody
That awkward moment when God asks Beyonce 'who run the world'...
7
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achduliebescheisse
Living the dream, one nightmare at a time.
7
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@romeofthesouth
is back from A&E, broken leg and bruised ribs. Will be seeing a solicitor on Monday... Red Bull does NOT give you wings! Lying b*stards!!
7
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Last post by Rex on 24/01/2019 07:03:59 PM GMT
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Rex
All porn videos should start with 5 seconds music to remind you that your volume is turned up
Posted by
Rex
15/10/2018 06:05 PM
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Rex
I'm going to invent a new pill called Niagra that stops erections. Slogan will be: "Viagra Rises, Niagra Falls!"
Posted by
Rex
14/10/2018 02:55 PM
1
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USA1
Never challenge a guy to an arm wrestling match who's been single for more than 6 months.
Posted by
USA1
24/09/2018 02:36 AM
2
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Rex
If you superglue a dead wasp to the back of your hand you can slap your boss on the back of the head real hard & pretend you saved him
Posted by
Rex
28/08/2018 02:56 PM
3
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Rex
Why does my wife always wait till im at the opposite end of the house before asking me to mrmv vmbf vamnumjuh?
Posted by
Rex
19/08/2018 10:31 PM
6
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Rex
To the theif who stole my antidepressants. I hope your happy now!
Posted by
Rex
30/07/2018 08:42 PM
6
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Rex
Id probably be a hypochondriac if i was ever well enough.
Posted by
Rex
20/06/2018 03:19 PM
6
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bobbyl
Judging from my last 5 relationships I am convinced my heart is trying to kill me
Posted by
bobbyl
22/05/2018 06:27 PM
6
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stefplum
He died doing what he loved: telling me I'm overreacting.
Posted by
stefplum
10/03/2018 02:37 PM
6
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Rex
I fear my gas bill more than i do global warming
Posted by
Rex
29/01/2018 01:29 AM
6
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Somebody
If there's one thing that makes me throw up it's a dartboard on the ceiling
Posted by
Somebody
26/01/2018 02:37 AM
1
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stefplum
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Posted by
stefplum
27/11/2017 03:28 PM
6
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sirdawko
Liven up boring long haul flights by pressing the stewardess call button & then when she comes 2 your seat just say "NO I CAN'T FLY A PLANE"
Posted by
sirdawko
12/09/2017 07:50 AM
6
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gussyg
My dog's ratio of digging holes in my yard to finding buried treasure is not where I'd like it to be.
Posted by
gussyg
04/08/2017 08:13 PM
6
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keetojb
A tattoo doesn’t tell you very much about a person, but where they put the tattoo does
Posted by
keetojb
17/03/2017 04:13 PM
6
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jumbojim
Who named them veterinarians and not "dogtors"?
Posted by
jumbojim
11/03/2017 02:17 PM
6
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Steff
Words can't describe how beautiful you are. But numbers can. 4/10.
Posted by
Steff
05/03/2017 09:21 AM
6
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jumbojim
Based on the sound of her walking.. My upstairs neighbor seems like the kind of woman that starts sentences with; "Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum.".
Posted by
jumbojim
22/02/2017 02:06 PM
6
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jumbojim
Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07
Posted by
jumbojim
10/02/2017 06:19 PM
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Shafique.K@BawloEscobar
Marriage is something when a man and a woman become one...problem starts when they try to decide which one.
Posted by
Shafique.K@BawloEscobar
29/01/2017 09:45 AM
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