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Top Ten
Brasstoff
I heard that if I stood on Mars I would weigh 20% less. I now know this to be false! Does anyone want to buy 48 flattened chocolate bars?
148
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Kwesta
For the conceited people: if i ever decide to commit suicide, all i would do is jump from YOUR EGO TO YOUR IQ-LEVEL :D
7
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@TsirAhXuan
DURING THE SUMMER: Everyday I'm shufflin' DURING THE WINTER: Everyday I'm shovelin'
7
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unknown
i am a lion hear me ROAR.....meow.
7
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sirdawko
last night I saw a guy in a Man Utd shirt drowning in a frozen canal so I saved him...as the screensaver on my phone.
7
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@bigwmo77
Isnt it funny how you can be thinking about someone and they suddenly appear infront of you, My dad just caught me w*nking
7
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@romeofthesouth
commented on your photo
7
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Somebody
That awkward moment when God asks Beyonce 'who run the world'...
7
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achduliebescheisse
Living the dream, one nightmare at a time.
7
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@romeofthesouth
is back from A&E, broken leg and bruised ribs. Will be seeing a solicitor on Monday... Red Bull does NOT give you wings! Lying b*stards!!
7
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Last post by Rex on 24/01/2019 07:03:59 PM GMT
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Camalot
Type Gobsh*tes into Google maps and see where it takes you :)
Posted by
Camalot
03/11/2018 09:24 AM
1
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stormydan
AOL has been hacked. Users have also been asked to check their Atari settings for possible compromise.
Posted by
stormydan
29/05/2018 07:27 PM
6
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stefplum
I am somewhere between being too old for Snapchat and not being quit old enough for Life alert.
Posted by
stefplum
10/03/2018 02:41 PM
6
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The Grumpy Git
How is it I can never get any signal in my house but ISIS can upload videos from desert caves and sh*t?
Posted by
The Grumpy Git
01/12/2015 05:48 PM
6
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King
Microsoft bought Skype for $8.5billon. Idiots, they could have downloaded it for free.
Posted by
King
17/11/2015 11:08 PM
6
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King
Some people post so much depressing love sh*t that even I'm starting to miss their ex.
Posted by
King
09/10/2015 09:06 AM
4
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King
My deepest fear is being drunk on eBay. I bought a plane ticket once to Christmas Island on a Tuesday.
Posted by
King
01/10/2015 06:36 PM
3
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@raul_e_cuzman
Facebook is the Hotel California of the new millennium. You can log out any time you like, but you can never leave.
Posted by
@raul_e_cuzman
01/10/2015 05:59 PM
3
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DavNg
U Know you're Addicted to the Internet When U step out of ur room & realized your parents have moved, & U have no clue when it happened.
Posted by
DavNg
14/08/2015 04:06 PM
4
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funny
WARNING: Objects in selfies are not as pretty as they appear.
Posted by
funny
06/08/2015 04:15 AM
4
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funny
just cleaned my friends list....didn't delete anyone ..just sprayed some freshener...you fkr's stink!
Posted by
funny
06/08/2015 03:34 AM
2
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@paulhale
Please vote for us! New Funny Status Messages website & app coming soon! http://bit.ly/1wNOuLx
Posted by
@paulhale
16/03/2015 09:45 PM
6
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Jasmino
It’s embarrassing that 90% of my Google history is just words I wasn’t sure how to spell, and yes I googled embarrassing.
Posted by
Jasmino
25/02/2015 12:19 AM
6
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Scotland
Groupon emails serve as a nice daily reminder of all the fun stuff I can't afford to do even at a 60% discount.
Posted by
Scotland
24/02/2015 11:56 PM
6
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Scotland
Why is it that when there are a million interesting places on Google Earth, the first thing people do is look for their house?
Posted by
Scotland
24/02/2015 11:53 PM
6
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dreSHak
You know you are desperate for an answer when you look at the second page of Google.
Posted by
dreSHak
28/01/2015 09:00 AM
3
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Brasstoff
I was asked today if I like angry birds. I replied, 'I must do, I seem to have been married to one for years!'
Posted by
Brasstoff
23/10/2014 09:46 PM
6
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TheLoveDoctor
I thought Match.com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it's a website to find love. So I was close.
Posted by
TheLoveDoctor
02/10/2014 02:29 AM
6
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thiki
Chuch Norris has a gmail account.... gmail@chucknorris.com
Posted by
thiki
12/09/2014 12:40 AM
6
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SkrillexDelRey
Autocorrect can sometimes make you lick a complete can't.
Posted by
SkrillexDelRey
29/08/2014 04:25 PM
1
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