funny status messages



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Brasstoff
I heard that if I stood on Mars I would weigh 20% less. I now know this to be false! Does anyone want to buy 48 flattened chocolate bars?  147 Dislike
sKoop
I've just been informed by a porn site that "8 hot nymphos in my area are dying to meet me." Yes, I'm understandably stoked!  7 Dislike
sKoop
Everyone deserves one or two free kills in life.  7 Dislike
sKoop
Wow! You wear a NORTHFACE Jacket ? You must go on sooo many adventures......  7 Dislike
sKoop
Most guys' dicks are like a Nintendo cartridge; If it's not working, pull it out, blow on it and it should work when you put it back in.  7 Dislike
ritzblitz
Pizza is like sex, when it is good it's VERY GOOD, when it's bad...it's still pretty good.  7 Dislike
Thomas
.."On a scale of 1-100 how immature are you?" "69" (",)  7 Dislike
Somebody
I stay up late every night, and realise its a bad idea every morning.  7 Dislike
@YGESH
Rajnikant once donated a drop of blood to a very weak child... The child is known as "The Great Khali".  7 Dislike
@YGESH
Before Tom Cruise, Rajnikanth was approached for Mission Impossible which he refused as he found the title insulting.  7 Dislike
 


Last post by Rex on 15/10/2018 06:05:10 PM GMT
  • stormydan AOL has been hacked. Users have also been asked to check their Atari settings for possible compromise.
    Posted by stormydan  29/05/2018 07:27 PM  6 Like
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  • stefplum I am somewhere between being too old for Snapchat and not being quit old enough for Life alert.
    Posted by stefplum  10/03/2018 02:41 PM  6 Like
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  • The Grumpy Git How is it I can never get any signal in my house but ISIS can upload videos from desert caves and sh*t?
    Posted by The Grumpy Git  01/12/2015 05:48 PM  6 Like
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  • King My deepest fear is being drunk on eBay. I bought a plane ticket once to Christmas Island on a Tuesday.
    Posted by King  01/10/2015 06:36 PM  3 Like
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  • DavNg U Know you're Addicted to the Internet When U step out of ur room & realized your parents have moved, & U have no clue when it happened.
    Posted by DavNg  14/08/2015 04:06 PM  4 Like
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  • funny just cleaned my friends list....didn't delete anyone ..just sprayed some freshener...you fkr's stink!
    Posted by funny  06/08/2015 03:34 AM  2 Like
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  • Jasmino It’s embarrassing that 90% of my Google history is just words I wasn’t sure how to spell, and yes I googled embarrassing.
    Posted by Jasmino  25/02/2015 12:19 AM  6 Like
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  • Scotland Groupon emails serve as a nice daily reminder of all the fun stuff I can't afford to do even at a 60% discount.
    Posted by Scotland  24/02/2015 11:56 PM  6 Like
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  • Scotland Why is it that when there are a million interesting places on Google Earth, the first thing people do is look for their house?
    Posted by Scotland  24/02/2015 11:53 PM  6 Like
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  • Brasstoff I was asked today if I like angry birds. I replied, 'I must do, I seem to have been married to one for years!'
    Posted by Brasstoff  23/10/2014 09:46 PM  6 Like
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  • TheLoveDoctor I thought Match.com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it's a website to find love. So I was close.
    Posted by TheLoveDoctor  02/10/2014 02:29 AM  6 Like
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