funny status messages

 


Last post by Windex on 01/04/2018 03:13:12 AM GMT
  • jumbojim I’m not saying I need to manscape, but when I get an erection it looks like Pinocchio has joined the Taliban.
    Posted by jumbojim  27/01/2018 01:33 PM  7 Like
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  • jonnyg I ordered an Asian hooker last night. She showed up 2 hours late. She loved me wrong time
    Posted by jonnyg  27/12/2017 03:16 PM  6 Like
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  • sirdawko My wife says shes leaving me because I exaggerate too much. So I slapped her with my 16 inch cock.
    Posted by sirdawko  12/09/2017 07:49 AM  4 Like
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  • sirdawko I left my girlfriend some notes around the house.She's already found"Will""you"&"me".I hope she hurries up finding"leave"&"the f*ck alone".
    Posted by sirdawko  31/05/2017 10:16 AM  6 Like
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  • jumbojim Reverse cowgirl. Perfect for when you're horny, but can't stand to look at each other !
    Posted by jumbojim  08/05/2017 12:02 PM  6 Like
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  • gussyg Is it weird to get naked during a massage? At what point can I ask the masseuse to put his pants back on
    Posted by gussyg  08/05/2017 12:00 PM  6 Like
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  • gussyg An arranged marriage is just another way of saying that your parents helped you get laid.
    Posted by gussyg  05/03/2017 01:35 PM  7 Like
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  • sirdawko Some people are like slinkies. They pretty simple but good fun to push down the stairs
    Posted by sirdawko  07/01/2017 05:11 PM  7 Like
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  • funny You should treat your women the way you treat your vacuum cleaner.. When it stops sucking, change the bag!
    Posted by funny  06/08/2015 06:09 PM  7 Like
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  • funny I'm sick of people knocking on my door looking for donations..... Just had a woman from the sperm bank..Boy, did I give her a mouthful..
    Posted by funny  06/08/2015 03:33 AM  7 Like
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  • King A cop just killed my GTA V character even though he's white. Anyone else experiencing this bug?
    Posted by King  20/05/2015 01:15 AM  7 Like
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  • sirdawko. Be careful when looking for your knight in shining armour that you don't end up with a c*nt in tin foil.
    Posted by sirdawko.  29/04/2015 05:46 PM  7 Like
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  • sirdawko Today ,a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.....apparently "In HD" was not the right answer!
    Posted by sirdawko  30/03/2015 10:14 AM  7 Like
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