funny status messages

 


Last post by Raziel on 27/09/2017 07:01:11 PM GMT
  • sirdawko My wife says shes leaving me because I exaggerate too much. So I slapped her with my 16 inch cock.
    Posted by sirdawko  12/09/2017 07:49 AM  2 Like
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  • sirdawko I left my girlfriend some notes around the house.She's already found"Will""you"&"me".I hope she hurries up finding"leave"&"the f*ck alone".
    Posted by sirdawko  31/05/2017 10:16 AM  8 Like
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  • jumbojim Reverse cowgirl. Perfect for when you're horny, but can't stand to look at each other !
    Posted by jumbojim  08/05/2017 12:02 PM  8 Like
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  • gussyg Is it weird to get naked during a massage? At what point can I ask the masseuse to put his pants back on
    Posted by gussyg  08/05/2017 12:00 PM  8 Like
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  • gussyg An arranged marriage is just another way of saying that your parents helped you get laid.
    Posted by gussyg  05/03/2017 01:35 PM  8 Like
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  • sirdawko Some people are like slinkies. They pretty simple but good fun to push down the stairs
    Posted by sirdawko  07/01/2017 05:11 PM  7 Like
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  • funny You should treat your women the way you treat your vacuum cleaner.. When it stops sucking, change the bag!
    Posted by funny  06/08/2015 06:09 PM  6 Like
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  • funny I'm sick of people knocking on my door looking for donations..... Just had a woman from the sperm bank..Boy, did I give her a mouthful..
    Posted by funny  06/08/2015 03:33 AM  5 Like
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  • King A cop just killed my GTA V character even though he's white. Anyone else experiencing this bug?
    Posted by King  20/05/2015 01:15 AM  7 Like
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  • sirdawko. Be careful when looking for your knight in shining armour that you don't end up with a c*nt in tin foil.
    Posted by sirdawko.  29/04/2015 05:46 PM  7 Like
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  • sirdawko Today ,a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships.....apparently "In HD" was not the right answer!
    Posted by sirdawko  30/03/2015 10:14 AM  7 Like
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  • TisMe Went 2 the shop today and before I left my friend asked me 2 buy something 2 make her smell nice. Apparently Vagisil isn't what she meant
    Posted by TisMe  15/12/2014 09:00 AM  6 Like
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  • TisMe What does a dog and a tree have in common? When they're both dead they both lose their bark.
    Posted by TisMe  26/11/2014 08:36 AM  7 Like
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  • CAMALOT My lesbian neighbours got me a rolex for my birthday . I think they misunderstood me when i said i wanna watch !
    Posted by CAMALOT  14/11/2014 10:04 AM  7 Like
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