funny status messages



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Brasstoff
I heard that if I stood on Mars I would weigh 20% less. I now know this to be false! Does anyone want to buy 48 flattened chocolate bars?  114 Dislike
Deathbysnoosnoo
can't even afford the last letter to update his statu_!  7 Dislike
Deathbysnoosnoo
will never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night again!  7 Dislike
Deathbysnoosnoo
If at first you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie!  7 Dislike
pinktiewizard
Thank you math, for messing with Harold Campings head again.  7 Dislike
pinktiewizard
I was once in Britain Got Talent and i lost cause the judges didnt know my talent was to lose at talent competitions.  7 Dislike
Annojing
I just got ripped off by a Chinese guy. This pan he sold me doesn't fly at all.  7 Dislike
ghasstonish
Think like a man of action, and act like a man of thought.  7 Dislike
Brainchild
A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad.An optimist is a man who hopes they are...!!  7 Dislike
Brainchild
Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.  7 Dislike
 


Last post by jeanna on 14/05/2019 03:48:08 PM GMT
  • Rex The recent earthquake in mexico registered as 7.1 on the Richter scale anything above 8 should be measured on a rectum scale
    Posted by Rex  20/09/2017 10:03 AM  4 Like
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  • Thiki i don't get it why Japanese and Korean don't get along, I mean they are all Chinese right?
    Posted by Thiki  15/11/2015 07:54 AM  6 Like
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  • blameddevotee In the Middle East did you know that snap, crackle and pop are actually called Snap, crackle and boom
    Posted by blameddevotee  23/09/2015 07:43 AM  4 Like
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  • sirdawko The Sat-Nav in my truck has been f*cked since I came back from Calais.Keeps saying "Help me please,I'm stuck!",in a thick African accent.
    Posted by sirdawko  26/06/2015 03:41 PM  6 Like
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  • sirdawko Experts in egypt have discovered a mummy covered in nuts and chocolate, they believe its pharaoh Roche!!!
    Posted by sirdawko  14/04/2015 02:28 PM  6 Like
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  • TisMe So, Kim Kardashian's arse is huge and has a lot of oil. I wonder if the US will invade it. Oh wait, my bad - half of the US already have.
    Posted by TisMe  26/11/2014 08:17 AM  6 Like
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  • sirdawko David Cameron has announced he is going to make it harder for people to claim benefits. From next week all forms will be in english only!
    Posted by sirdawko  17/10/2014 07:25 PM  6 Like
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  • sirdawko So Ebola has made it to Europe, if it gets any closer I'm getting as far away as possible, like, I dunno, Africa or somewhere!
    Posted by sirdawko  08/10/2014 03:34 PM  4 Like
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  • TheLoveDoctor Everything I know about U.S. history and geography I learned by reading the sides of U-Haul moving trucks.
    Posted by TheLoveDoctor  02/10/2014 02:29 AM  5 Like
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  • sirdawko The England team visited an orphanage in Brazil today. "It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope," said Jose, age 6.
    Posted by sirdawko  14/06/2014 02:24 PM  6 Like
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  • PARRIS Wow tell your kid that people from Oregon speak Oregano and all of a sudden "dad is the reason he's failing Social Studies.
    Posted by PARRIS  14/04/2014 11:52 PM  6 Like
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