funny status messages



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Brasstoff
I heard that if I stood on Mars I would weigh 20% less. I now know this to be false! Does anyone want to buy 48 flattened chocolate bars?  124 Dislike
dr.phil
If you watch The Human Centipede Backwards, Its A Heart Warming Tale Of A Surgeon Who Separates 3 Severely Disfigured People.  7 Dislike
Jriver13
Cancel my subscription bitch I'm tired of your issues!  7 Dislike
Jriver13
The amount of alcohol i would need, to sleep with you, would actually kill me.  7 Dislike
Jriver13
No I will not like this page! My facebook friends will know im not funny!  7 Dislike
TheDReeve
I like to break up with my girlfriends with a text: "Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. You're Dumped!"  7 Dislike
erm
I just saw a documentary about paedophiles. It touched me...  7 Dislike
erm
I put some body spray on last night, but I only managed to pull Anne Robinson. It must have been the weakest Lynx.  7 Dislike
sirdawko
wonders what Cambridge University Netball Team abbreviate their name to..?  7 Dislike
Somebody
ever gone grave robbing and dug up someone alive.... gezz awkwarddd  7 Dislike
 


Last post by Bâtard on 29/06/2019 02:37:39 PM GMT
  • Rex The recent earthquake in mexico registered as 7.1 on the Richter scale anything above 8 should be measured on a rectum scale
    Posted by Rex  20/09/2017 10:03 AM  4 Like
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  • Thiki i don't get it why Japanese and Korean don't get along, I mean they are all Chinese right?
    Posted by Thiki  15/11/2015 07:54 AM  6 Like
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  • blameddevotee In the Middle East did you know that snap, crackle and pop are actually called Snap, crackle and boom
    Posted by blameddevotee  23/09/2015 07:43 AM  4 Like
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  • sirdawko The Sat-Nav in my truck has been f*cked since I came back from Calais.Keeps saying "Help me please,I'm stuck!",in a thick African accent.
    Posted by sirdawko  26/06/2015 03:41 PM  6 Like
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  • sirdawko Experts in egypt have discovered a mummy covered in nuts and chocolate, they believe its pharaoh Roche!!!
    Posted by sirdawko  14/04/2015 02:28 PM  6 Like
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  • TisMe So, Kim Kardashian's arse is huge and has a lot of oil. I wonder if the US will invade it. Oh wait, my bad - half of the US already have.
    Posted by TisMe  26/11/2014 08:17 AM  6 Like
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  • sirdawko David Cameron has announced he is going to make it harder for people to claim benefits. From next week all forms will be in english only!
    Posted by sirdawko  17/10/2014 07:25 PM  6 Like
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  • sirdawko So Ebola has made it to Europe, if it gets any closer I'm getting as far away as possible, like, I dunno, Africa or somewhere!
    Posted by sirdawko  08/10/2014 03:34 PM  4 Like
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  • TheLoveDoctor Everything I know about U.S. history and geography I learned by reading the sides of U-Haul moving trucks.
    Posted by TheLoveDoctor  02/10/2014 02:29 AM  5 Like
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  • sirdawko The England team visited an orphanage in Brazil today. "It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope," said Jose, age 6.
    Posted by sirdawko  14/06/2014 02:24 PM  6 Like
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  • PARRIS Wow tell your kid that people from Oregon speak Oregano and all of a sudden "dad is the reason he's failing Social Studies.
    Posted by PARRIS  14/04/2014 11:52 PM  6 Like
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