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Slickpony
My youngest son can now reach the light switches, so don't come over to my house, unless you're really into raves or want to have a seizure
13
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Rex
First Thatcher dies, then Ferguson retires, somewhere theres a scouser with a lamp & 1 wish left.
12
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Tabish
I have an idea. Instead of complaining about your auto-correct every day, how about going into your settings & turning it off?
12
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Tabish
Give a woman a compliment, she'll smile for a day.. Teach a woman to fish for compliments & she'll be annoying for the rest of her life.
12
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Aussie
Dear Gangsta: If you pulled up your pants a little you could run from the cops faster.
12
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ritzblitz
If Da Vinci was alive today, the "Mona Lisa" would have been called "IMG-20125215-00854.jpg"
12
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@Bigwmo77
Told the misses a joke about a prostitute with a cold sore, Didnt go down well
12
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thomas
...Today is filled with anger, fueled with hidden hate, scared of being outcast, afraid of common fate (",)
12
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AndresM
No, I’m not weird. I’m a limited edition.
12
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Rick R
Dear Week, I am leaving you for the Weekend. I would say it's not you, it's me, but let's face it, it was you. Sincerely, Me
12
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Last post by Tabish on 22/05/2013 10:09:46 PM GMT
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Rex
Dodge global warming & move to britain!
Posted by
Rex
15/05/2013 02:34 PM
5
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Lerona
Missing girls in America are like buses. You wait ages for one to turn up and then.......
Posted by
Lerona
11/05/2013 04:04 PM
3
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@PaulHale
Happy St George's day. Makes you proud to be English! (status also available in Hindi, Punjabi, Swahili, Polish and Australian)
Posted by
@PaulHale
23/04/2013 05:56 PM
3
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@Kym254
I hate it when a shower only has two options – 3rd degree burns or skinny dipping in Antarctica.
Posted by
@Kym254
22/04/2013 09:48 PM
7
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Rex
Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape North Korea's long range missiles.
Posted by
Rex
13/04/2013 09:24 AM
9
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Tabish
Only in West Virginia would see a bumper sticker that reads "Proud parent of a nephew"
Posted by
Tabish
11/04/2013 12:19 PM
3
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JCGJ
North Korea is like that angry drunk guy at a party. Everyone is trying to calm him down but he's convinced he needs to fight someone.
Posted by
JCGJ
11/04/2013 02:11 AM
11
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JCGJ
What's long and hard, but can't get up? A North Korean rocket.
Posted by
JCGJ
11/04/2013 02:10 AM
11
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sirdawko
David Cameron has said that Britain is prepared 4 nuclear attacks from North Korea.David we weren't even prepared for f*cking snow in winter
Posted by
sirdawko
09/04/2013 06:45 PM
11
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marc
North Korea is threatening use of a 70 year old weapon? scary Next on their list of 1940s inventions to copy are silly putty, and the slinky
Posted by
marc
04/04/2013 04:51 PM
4
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Random
North Korea is like that angry drunk guy at a party. Everyone is trying to calm him down but hes convinced he needs to fight someone.
Posted by
Random
02/04/2013 12:36 AM
6
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Tabish
here is how you fix the problem in Egypt, someone get dressed like MOses and go to the president and say "let my people go" ....
Posted by
Tabish
01/04/2013 10:49 AM
2
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Parris
The first Irish National Steeplechase was finally abandoned. Not one horse could get a descent footing on the cathedral roof
Posted by
Parris
17/03/2013 03:19 PM
4
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Tabish
I just saw a baby with a t-shirt that said, "I'm what happened in Vegas!”
Posted by
Tabish
17/03/2013 12:02 PM
9
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Shafique
A recent study proved that if you stand on the Great Wall of China...You can actually see the moon.
Posted by
Shafique
16/03/2013 08:39 AM
4
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Alexis
Dear America, You produced Miley Cyrus.Bieber is your punishment. Sincerly, Canada
Posted by
Alexis
28/02/2013 07:38 PM
1
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Parris
My Girl Friend from Chicago asked a black kid in her kindergarten class what sound a pig makes and he said 'Freeze Muthaf*cker!'
Posted by
Parris
26/02/2013 11:47 PM
4
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Tabish
I saw a license plate yesterday that said "I miss New York", so I smashed their window and snatched their laptop...
Posted by
Tabish
25/02/2013 11:02 AM
11
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rex
How do you start a rave in africa?.....................glue a piece of toast to the ceiling.
Posted by
rex
12/02/2013 04:31 PM
7
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CHUCKY
Of all the utensils that were invented to eat rice with... How the f*ck did two sticks win?
Posted by
CHUCKY
11/02/2013 07:57 AM
10
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