Funny Status Messages

dreSHak: All single ladies, stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don't force an innocent cat to live with you. 11 Dislike
@TsirAhXuan: On a scale from 1 to Tailor Swift, what are the chances you are getting back with your ex? 11 Dislike
@romeofthesouth: Whenever someone says to me, "Oh you look familiar, where do I know you from?" I like to respond "Do you watch porn?" 11 Dislike
Justin (USA): A skinny guy with six pack abs is like a fat chick with big boobs. 11 Dislike
Parris: First Michael Jackson and now Neil Armstrong. I see god is no fan of moon-walkers. 11 Dislike
Lithium1976: Still can't believe Lance Armstrong has died. First man on The Moon, and winner of 7 Tour de Frances titles. The man was a legend. RIP 11 Dislike
JD: Sometimes autocorrect can be your worst enema. 11 Dislike
Shara: Prince Harry's recent scandal has shocked the world. For the first time, people are interested in seeing a naked ginger. 11 Dislike
Shara: Life is like a box of chocolates. Some motherf*cker will finish it off when you ain't looking ...... 11 Dislike
Shara: Thank f*ck for Facebook.... without it i would have to call every one of my friends to let them know i was going to the gym... 11 Dislike

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Last post by Gringo on 17/06/2013 01:45:56 PM GMT

Hish After watching Fast & the Furious 6, driving to work just isnt the same.
Posted by Hish 12/06/2013 10:38 PM Like
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me_myself_and_us the problem with Michael Jason dyeing is we will never know if Annie was ok !
Posted by me_myself_and_us 07/06/2013 11:25 PM 7 Like
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dreSHak Nothing is okay and nothing will ever be okay and the world is cruel and I'm never investing feelings in anything again #GameofThrones
Posted by dreSHak 04/06/2013 05:39 PM 7 Like
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Rex Has bear grylls never heard of a packed lunch?
Posted by Rex 02/06/2013 02:48 PM 8 Like
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@Bigwmo77 Just seen Derek Acorah buying large t shirts in the local clothes shop, Always knew he wasnt a medium
Posted by @Bigwmo77 01/06/2013 09:07 AM 9 Like
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Tabish When I dance, people think I'm looking for my keys
Posted by Tabish 12/05/2013 09:59 PM 7 Like
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Jasmine 3 reasons to stand up: 1) stretch 2) go somewhere 3) you are the real slim shady
Posted by Jasmine 11/05/2013 07:58 PM 7 Like
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SCOTLAND I'm watching far too much television these days. If it wasn't for Emmerdale I'd get no fresh air.
Posted by SCOTLAND 11/05/2013 04:02 PM 4 Like
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four7 This autumn on ITV: Ant and Dec present your favourite seventies TV stars in "I'm a Celebrity, Please Grant Me Bail!"
Posted by four7 11/05/2013 04:01 PM 5 Like
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Tabish PSY does the gangnam style dance so much...don't you think he should've lost some weight by now?
Posted by Tabish 08/05/2013 09:06 PM 2 Like
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Tabish Dear rappers, please stop putting police sirens in your music. When I'm driving it scares the crap out of me.
Posted by Tabish 08/05/2013 08:38 PM 10 Like
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sirdawko Absolutely gutted Fergie has retired... Black Eyed Peas will never be the same again!
Posted by sirdawko 08/05/2013 08:20 PM 3 Like
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JCGJ "Whats a good movie?" Me: "Snakes on a plane" Friend: "Whats it about?" Me: "Horses... horses on a boat"
Posted by JCGJ 07/05/2013 03:35 AM 10 Like
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sirdawko Can't believe ITV just broadcast the sex offenders' register...the end credits for Coronation Street!
Posted by sirdawko 03/05/2013 09:39 PM 2 Like
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@jimjohal discribe your sex life with a movie title
Posted by @jimjohal 30/04/2013 09:36 AM 3 Like
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Gringo So JLS have split. Am now hoping Justin Beiber does the same.
Posted by Gringo 25/04/2013 12:52 PM 7 Like
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paul So that's the end of JLS. Where will I buy my new sofa now?
Posted by paul 25/04/2013 10:00 AM 3 Like
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The Grumpy Git JLS have split up? Let's just hope their brand of condoms don't start splitting
Posted by The Grumpy Git 24/04/2013 07:15 PM 2 Like
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Tabish I have a feeling his life would have gone in a different direction had his name been Kanye East.
Posted by Tabish 19/04/2013 09:47 PM 3 Like
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Rex 2 little boys had 2 little toys... pity they weren't mace or a rape alarm
Posted by Rex 19/04/2013 11:24 AM 1 Like
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