funny status messages

 


Last post by Bâtard on 29/06/2019 02:37:39 PM GMT
  • Bâtard My doctor told me that i was fat. So i said that i'll need an second opinion. He told me that i was ugly too..
    Posted by Bâtard  29/06/2019 02:37 PM  1 Like
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  • sirdawko The thing I love most about the warm weather is the short skirts and low cut tops.My friends think that it makes me look a bit gay though.
    Posted by sirdawko  29/03/2018 09:31 AM  6 Like
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  • keetojb they say a dog is man's best friend, but I don't even have enemies who'll look me dead in my face while taking a sh*t on my carpet
    Posted by keetojb  28/02/2018 08:50 PM  6 Like
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  • Rex Top advice. If you wake up & hear a fire alarm & its not yours. Get your head back down let them worry about that sh:t
    Posted by Rex  29/01/2018 01:39 AM  5 Like
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  • stepfplum They say a dog park is a great place to pick up girls. I don't have a dog so I am walking around with a bag of poop so I won't look weird.
    Posted by stepfplum  25/11/2017 04:57 PM  6 Like
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  • keetojb I've decided that I'm an ass man. Don't get me wrong, horses are beautiful. They just aren't as cute as donkeys.
    Posted by keetojb  23/08/2017 07:51 PM  6 Like
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  • Rex Had my brother in stitches last night. I told him a joke he never laughed so i hit him with a baseball bat.
    Posted by Rex  03/08/2017 08:14 PM  6 Like
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  • jumbojim It takes a smoke detector 4 months to stop beeping if you were wondering how lazy I am.
    Posted by jumbojim  02/08/2017 09:03 PM  6 Like
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  • keetojb Nothing is impossible.. Never Give Up.. I know a guy that once actually guessed correctly why his girlfriend was mad at him
    Posted by keetojb  17/02/2017 03:14 PM  6 Like
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