funny status messages

 


Last post by Rex on 20/09/2017 10:03:34 AM GMT
  • keetojb I've decided that I'm an ass man. Don't get me wrong, horses are beautiful. They just aren't as cute as donkeys.
    Posted by keetojb  23/08/2017 07:51 PM  4 Like
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  • Rex Had my brother in stitches last night. I told him a joke he never laughed so i hit him with a baseball bat.
    Posted by Rex  03/08/2017 08:14 PM  4 Like
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  • jumbojim It takes a smoke detector 4 months to stop beeping if you were wondering how lazy I am.
    Posted by jumbojim  02/08/2017 09:03 PM  8 Like
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  • keetojb Nothing is impossible.. Never Give Up.. I know a guy that once actually guessed correctly why his girlfriend was mad at him
    Posted by keetojb  17/02/2017 03:14 PM  29 Like
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  • keetojb I commend any woman for going into labor outside a hospital setting. If I have to poop anywhere besides my own bathroom I go into panic mode
    Posted by keetojb  04/01/2017 12:22 AM  30 Like
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  • sirdawko I had to take the batteries out of my carbon monoxide alarm.The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy!
    Posted by sirdawko  17/12/2015 09:51 AM  7 Like
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  • SCOTLAND73 It's not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later.
    Posted by SCOTLAND73  23/11/2015 12:38 AM  7 Like
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  • guest If I could have dinner with anyone, alive or dead, there is no question. I would want them to be alive.
    Posted by guest  25/10/2015 12:20 AM  9 Like
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  • keetojb I hate when all the silverware is dirty and I'm down to using the giant decorative fork that hangs on the wal
    Posted by keetojb  08/10/2015 10:15 PM  13 Like
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  • Somebody If your having a bad day, remember that somewhere on this big planet, someone just lost their straw in a capri sun!!
    Posted by Somebody  29/09/2015 09:28 PM  2 Like
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  • keetojb Be thankful your GPS doesn't get PMS: “Fine! Turn whichever way you want! You never listen to me anyway!”
    Posted by keetojb  06/09/2015 03:59 PM  5 Like
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