funny status messages

 


Last post by Raziel on 27/09/2017 07:01:11 PM GMT
  • Rex The recent earthquake in mexico registered as 7.1 on the Richter scale anything above 8 should be measured on a rectum scale
    Posted by Rex  20/09/2017 10:03 AM  2 Like
    Share on Facebook  |  Share on Twitter
  • sirdawko Liven up boring long haul flights by pressing the stewardess call button & then when she comes 2 your seat just say "NO I CAN'T FLY A PLANE"
    Posted by sirdawko  12/09/2017 07:50 AM  3 Like
    Share on Facebook  |  Share on Twitter
  • sirdawko My wife says shes leaving me because I exaggerate too much. So I slapped her with my 16 inch cock.
    Posted by sirdawko  12/09/2017 07:49 AM  2 Like
    Share on Facebook  |  Share on Twitter
  • Brasstoff I heard that if I stood on Mars I would weigh 20% less. I now know this to be false! Does anyone want to buy 48 flattened chocolate bars?
    Posted by Brasstoff  04/09/2017 09:54 PM  74 Like
    Share on Facebook  |  Share on Twitter
  • keetojb I've decided that I'm an ass man. Don't get me wrong, horses are beautiful. They just aren't as cute as donkeys.
    Posted by keetojb  23/08/2017 07:51 PM  8 Like
    Share on Facebook  |  Share on Twitter
  • gussyg this pill bottle says 'Take with plenty of fluids' and 'Don't take with alcohol'. That doesn't even make sense
    Posted by gussyg  11/08/2017 04:14 PM  8 Like
    Share on Facebook  |  Share on Twitter
  • gussyg My dog's ratio of digging holes in my yard to finding buried treasure is not where I'd like it to be.
    Posted by gussyg  04/08/2017 08:13 PM  8 Like
    Share on Facebook  |  Share on Twitter
  • Rex Had my brother in stitches last night. I told him a joke he never laughed so i hit him with a baseball bat.
    Posted by Rex  03/08/2017 08:14 PM  4 Like
    Share on Facebook  |  Share on Twitter
  • jumbojim It takes a smoke detector 4 months to stop beeping if you were wondering how lazy I am.
    Posted by jumbojim  02/08/2017 09:03 PM  8 Like
    Share on Facebook  |  Share on Twitter
  • jumbojim I was wondering why some couples don't go to the gym together but I guess some relationships just don't work out...
    Posted by jumbojim  10/07/2017 11:42 PM  8 Like
    Share on Facebook  |  Share on Twitter
  • sirdawko I left my girlfriend some notes around the house.She's already found"Will""you"&"me".I hope she hurries up finding"leave"&"the f*ck alone".
    Posted by sirdawko  31/05/2017 10:16 AM  8 Like
    Share on Facebook  |  Share on Twitter
  • jumbojim Reverse cowgirl. Perfect for when you're horny, but can't stand to look at each other !
    Posted by jumbojim  08/05/2017 12:02 PM  8 Like
    Share on Facebook  |  Share on Twitter
  • gussyg Is it weird to get naked during a massage? At what point can I ask the masseuse to put his pants back on
    Posted by gussyg  08/05/2017 12:00 PM  8 Like
    Share on Facebook  |  Share on Twitter
  • gussyg In the spirit of spring cleaning and Easter, I'm keeping the dust bunnies as decorations.
    Posted by gussyg  19/04/2017 07:14 PM  8 Like
    Share on Facebook  |  Share on Twitter
12345678910...Next >