funny status messages

 


Last post by sirdawko on 06/12/2016 09:59:16 AM GMT
  • sirdawko Do you think Chewbacca has a human dick or one of those red rocket things a dog has? George Lucas won't answer my calls.
    Posted by sirdawko  06/12/2016 09:59 AM   Like
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  • The Grumpy Git There's a place for all of God's creatures. Right next to the gravy and peas.
    Posted by The Grumpy Git  29/11/2016 10:50 AM   Like
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  • Somebody I've been having problems with nuisance phone calls: most common one seems to be "You said you'd be home from the pub three hours ago!"
    Posted by Somebody  22/11/2016 10:42 AM   Like
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  • The Grumpy Git My wife and I have the cutest nicknames for each other. She's my buttercup and I'm her useless sack of sh*t.
    Posted by The Grumpy Git  22/11/2016 10:40 AM   Like
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  • Phil If somebody reads a newspaper from a long time ago then are they reading the news, or are they reading the olds?
    Posted by Phil  14/02/2016 01:44 AM  5 Like
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  • The Grumpy Git Money doesn't buy you happiness, but crying in a Ferrari is better than crying on a bus.
    Posted by The Grumpy Git  30/01/2016 11:30 AM  8 Like
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  • sirdawko I had to take the batteries out of my carbon monoxide alarm.The loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy!
    Posted by sirdawko  17/12/2015 09:51 AM  7 Like
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  • The Grumpy Git How is it I can never get any signal in my house but ISIS can upload videos from desert caves and sh*t?
    Posted by The Grumpy Git  01/12/2015 05:48 PM  6 Like
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  • SCOTLAND73 Have you ever seen a baby horse trying to stand for the first time? That's what I look like getting out of bed in the morning.
    Posted by SCOTLAND73  23/11/2015 12:51 AM  7 Like
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  • SCOTLAND73 It's not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later.
    Posted by SCOTLAND73  23/11/2015 12:38 AM  7 Like
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