funny status messages

 


Last post by gussyg on 11/08/2017 04:14:08 PM GMT
  • gussyg this pill bottle says 'Take with plenty of fluids' and 'Don't take with alcohol'. That doesn't even make sense
    Posted by gussyg  11/08/2017 04:14 PM  1 Like
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  • gussyg My dog's ratio of digging holes in my yard to finding buried treasure is not where I'd like it to be.
    Posted by gussyg  04/08/2017 08:13 PM  2 Like
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  • Rex Had my brother in stitches last night. I told him a joke he never laughed so i hit him with a baseball bat.
    Posted by Rex  03/08/2017 08:14 PM  3 Like
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  • jumbojim It takes a smoke detector 4 months to stop beeping if you were wondering how lazy I am.
    Posted by jumbojim  02/08/2017 09:03 PM  2 Like
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  • jumbojim I was wondering why some couples don't go to the gym together but I guess some relationships just don't work out...
    Posted by jumbojim  10/07/2017 11:42 PM  5 Like
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  • sirdawko I left my girlfriend some notes around the house.She's already found"Will""you"&"me".I hope she hurries up finding"leave"&"the f*ck alone".
    Posted by sirdawko  31/05/2017 10:16 AM  5 Like
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  • jumbojim Reverse cowgirl. Perfect for when you're horny, but can't stand to look at each other !
    Posted by jumbojim  08/05/2017 12:02 PM  8 Like
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  • gussyg Is it weird to get naked during a massage? At what point can I ask the masseuse to put his pants back on
    Posted by gussyg  08/05/2017 12:00 PM  9 Like
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  • gussyg In the spirit of spring cleaning and Easter, I'm keeping the dust bunnies as decorations.
    Posted by gussyg  19/04/2017 07:14 PM  13 Like
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  • jumbojim When my pc crashes, I go to the guy with the most action figures in his cubicle for help
    Posted by jumbojim  31/03/2017 02:32 PM  21 Like
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  • gussyg My girlfriend wanted me to come shopping, but I had a headache... I must have caught it from her last night when we didn't have sex.
    Posted by gussyg  25/03/2017 01:15 PM  25 Like
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  • keetojb A tattoo doesn’t tell you very much about a person, but where they put the tattoo does
    Posted by keetojb  17/03/2017 04:13 PM  27 Like
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  • gussyg An arranged marriage is just another way of saying that your parents helped you get laid.
    Posted by gussyg  05/03/2017 01:35 PM  32 Like
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  • jumbojim Based on the sound of her walking.. My upstairs neighbor seems like the kind of woman that starts sentences with; "Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum.".
    Posted by jumbojim  22/02/2017 02:06 PM  36 Like
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