funny status messages

 


Last post by sirdawko on 31/05/2017 10:16:46 AM GMT
  • sirdawko I left my girlfriend some notes around the house.She's already found"Will""you"&"me".I hope she hurries up finding"leave"&"the f*ck alone".
    Posted by sirdawko  31/05/2017 10:16 AM  3 Like
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  • jumbojim Reverse cowgirl. Perfect for when you're horny, but can't stand to look at each other !
    Posted by jumbojim  08/05/2017 12:02 PM  4 Like
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  • gussyg Is it weird to get naked during a massage? At what point can I ask the masseuse to put his pants back on
    Posted by gussyg  08/05/2017 12:00 PM  5 Like
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  • gussyg In the spirit of spring cleaning and Easter, I'm keeping the dust bunnies as decorations.
    Posted by gussyg  19/04/2017 07:14 PM  10 Like
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  • jumbojim When my pc crashes, I go to the guy with the most action figures in his cubicle for help
    Posted by jumbojim  31/03/2017 02:32 PM  17 Like
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  • gussyg My girlfriend wanted me to come shopping, but I had a headache... I must have caught it from her last night when we didn't have sex.
    Posted by gussyg  25/03/2017 01:15 PM  21 Like
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  • keetojb A tattoo doesn’t tell you very much about a person, but where they put the tattoo does
    Posted by keetojb  17/03/2017 04:13 PM  22 Like
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  • gussyg An arranged marriage is just another way of saying that your parents helped you get laid.
    Posted by gussyg  05/03/2017 01:35 PM  28 Like
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  • jumbojim Based on the sound of her walking.. My upstairs neighbor seems like the kind of woman that starts sentences with; "Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum.".
    Posted by jumbojim  22/02/2017 02:06 PM  32 Like
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  • keetojb The doctor recommended I increase the amount of Greens in my diet...so I started drinking more Rolling Rock
    Posted by keetojb  19/02/2017 03:11 PM  32 Like
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  • keetojb Nothing is impossible.. Never Give Up.. I know a guy that once actually guessed correctly why his girlfriend was mad at him
    Posted by keetojb  17/02/2017 03:14 PM  31 Like
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  • gussyg My toddler gets pretty impatient with me for someone who takes 45 minutes to eat an egg.
    Posted by gussyg  16/02/2017 12:44 PM  31 Like
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  • jumbojim Woke up this morning and the alarm clock was laughing at me....then I realized it was upside down and the time was 7:07
    Posted by jumbojim  10/02/2017 06:19 PM  30 Like
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  • Shafique.K@BawloEscobar Marriage is something when a man and a woman become one...problem starts when they try to decide which one.
    Posted by Shafique.K@BawloEscobar  29/01/2017 09:45 AM  6 Like
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  • Shafique.K Interviewer: What is your weakness? Me: I'm short tempered. Interviewer: Explain. Me: What the fugg do you mean by explain, you moron !!
    Posted by Shafique.K  28/01/2017 03:16 PM  8 Like
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